My Killer

Both are my killers.Yes.My HEART  killer.They kill me with different methods.

Eli

Using his eagle-like eyes,juz by a gaze he already shoot me to the heart juz like a laser.When he smirks I’ll fall on the ground,got a heart attack,lol.

HJL

A series killer of mine.Juz thinking bout him can makes me smiling,crying,even anger myself.Juz like some crazy person,rite?His smile,his eyes…I will avoid from thinking or see his face,even imagine his smile when I’m mad at him,for doing something I don’t like.I can’t coz if I do,my anger will juz flew away~and I will lost,what am I angry for,lol.What a lame girl am I,aigoo…..esp his smile…omma…eottokke?

MISSING HIM,AGAIN… T^T;

Curently I’m watching Lie To Me,but idk why I keep thinking of him.yes,HIM,who else would it be other than HJL.arghh…esp the sad,romantic part…okay,I did remember him all the time actually,lol…

And now,when I play my Koreanics list in media player,the 1^st song that come out was is Remember – B1A4! Omo!i’m not sure it is juz me,but the thing I love most bout my media player is it will always plays the song that suit my current mood.It doesn’t happen onece or two,but ALWAYS!Too frequently!I’m not trying to hallucination,it doeas REALLY,REALLY happen,Chincha!And now,the next song is Satisfaction – FT Island!Maybe bcoz I’m now praising it,keke…lol…But I hope I won’t ever beliv bout it too far,or it’ll be khurafat,or something like that,Nauzubillah,Dear Allah,plez let me far from that feeling…

Ok now I want to write about what I’m feeling rite now.I hold it since I start watched it at 10pm,maybe…Lie To Me Ep 5,6?maybe?I started to think bout him.Eottokkhe?I tried not think too much bout him lately but it looks like he keeps appearing in my minds.My current wallies for both(phone and lappy) is not him,but Eli.I juz change my alarm song too,from Do U Like That – HJL t0 TickTack -UKissBut in my dreams,my imagination,and everywhere I go or do,I can only see him!HJL,I Really Hate U,But I Love U,So What Can I Do?Now Listen…*lol,juz borrowing HJB’s line for Love Ya for a seconds,keke

Each time I can’t go online,I can only think of him.What is he doing,Where he is,How is he,is he sick or healthy?This kind of question keeps wondering in my mind.Juz a little worried.Pabo.Why am I worried?i’m not his wife,his mum,his sister,his neojachingu…He didn’t even know I’m actually exist in this Allah’s earth >.< [#np Yearning Of Heart – BOF OST)

I got the tought to juz sms Akma or Hani,but I don’t want to bother them,since Hani is in the middle of her Final Exam,and Akma got class tomorrow.I just wanna scream of “HYUN JOONG AHHHHHH!!!!!~~~~~BOGOSHIPPEOSSEO!!!!! >_<

#np I am Going To Have You – FT Island

Haha,I know it nonsense,keke….

But I really,really Miss you,HJL…..

ARGHH…. #np A Thing Called Happiness – HJL!

Juz by listen to his voice can makes me smile,a lot.His voice might not as great as YS,Soo Hyun,Yoseob,Jonghyun or even my fav-vocal-ever,Honki,but only his voice can makes me feel this way.Okay,I hav to admit I got the “angau terlebih-syndrome”,lol (lovesick overdose)

#np Together – Kevin and Eli ft Jamosa

Okay maybe juz this I can write now,I got a lot to say earlier,now I’m lost of words,since Remember(B1A4) was played earlier,keke…Annyeong,Assalamualaikum~ (^^)v

= 23^rd March,2:12 am,in my room(in my rented house)=

#np OBSESS – SS501!<3

*I bought Harian Metro papers today,bcoz I wanna know more about SPM’s (a Malaysia civil examination) result that was announced yesterday(21st March 2012),since I can’t on9 either watch the news,internet connection was broken,so do the TV’s arial(haha,mian,idk what arial is called in english,it’s the thing used to locate TV’s channel,lol).Many of my kpopers friends are taking the result,so I was excited all the way too.But what to do….Juz read the newspaper la…Today is quite a frustating and stressed day,due to many problems,B.M’s mini project,my friends,and everything.But one Good thing that makes my day was,I saw HJL’s in the newspaper!awwww!~Feel so Great!haha  >___<

The article is about TFS,but actually the 1^st thing grabbed my attention when I open that side is,his face,not the article’s title,even the other’s article,keke…

U can see it for sure rite?keke…feel extremely happy bout this.Gomawo Hyun Joong ah,u make my day J

!Edited : After i finished wrote this in Mic Word,I juz notice that my Handphone wallies was HJL!hahaha..I forget i already change it to him,when I can't stand missing him anymore..at least by doin that i feel quite relieved ;)

Beralih Arah.....?

Aq sedih la,dulu aq ade 5 orang biras,sorg je yg aq knl,which is Yati,Baby’s wife.But since the “Bed Scene Incident,” idk her status.Nk tnye,she already warned me not to mention HJB’s name.She still feel hurt.Yela,aq yg bkn bias dye pn bengang weh,malu,sedih,skit aty,kecewa,sume ade.Kalo dye lagilah…Kyn plk,lps yg Kyu n spe ntah pompuan tuh wat pengakuan they’ve like each other for a long time,Kyn da mcm krg sket ngan Kyu.She almost give up,but nasebla ade Mrs Haengi dtg menyelamat.So she’s still the Mrs Kyukyn.

Hani, prnh terluka skali,sbb aq.Pabo btol la aq ni pn,ade ke patut aq tnye dye sal tuh?Adeshhhh…Sal gf Leeteuk(now ex),an artist gk,she was YS’s gf’s once.It just a rumor,but he never deny jugk..ntahla..lgipon bnda tu da lme kn.Tp aq still rse bersalh ngan Hani..... Mianhe Mrs Haengi   *ketuk2,sekeh2 kepala sndrik =(

And now,the critical stage.Yang plg aq xtaw dh nk ckp ape.

Dulu2 seronok gile time Akma ngan Yana gado2 sume,berebutkn JM.But now both of them dh lpskn JM.Akma da beralih arah to Kevin,and Yana,Seungyeol.Aq pn bkn knl sgt ngan Seungyeol tuh,which one is him,I juz know he is one of Infinite’s member.Yana ade ckp kt Akma,dye da kasi JM kt Akma sepenuhnya,dye da xnak JM.Akma plk makin hari makin gilakan Kevin.

Aq tak kesah sgt pon,but I juz can feel that I already lost both of Mrs Park.BOTH,at the SAME TIME! >.<”

Aq taw aq xde hak nk halang dorang.Yelah,minat orang,xkanlah aq sebok2 nk sekat,mrh2 plk.Gile ke ape?Same la mcm aq,aq xske org sebok2 campur hal aq,mnat aq,ske ati aq la nk suke sape2 pn kan.So do them.Aq kna la fhm,mnat msing2,maybe da sampai msenye dorang beralih arah lps berthun2 stuck with JM.Same as aq ske ske Eli la,xkn dorg nk mrh aq kot sbb mnt dye,lol.Cme bezanya aq xkan tinggalkan HJL,kalo dye sndri xwat hal.I mean,kalo dye wat mcm “HJB’s BAD Incident” abesla.If he did,the probability for me to leave him is quite high.Juz leave him la,not SS501,not Triple S.EXCEPT if SS501 is disband…I’ll leave kpop world as well……………

Aq bkn diktator,aq bknnye spe2 nk arhkn dorg suh tuka2 idols.I juz surprised that Akma finally changes her twitter’s name to Mrs Kevin Woo.Idk why my got hurt a little and my heart beats faster.it was like “Gulp!” a Big,Large,Giant stone dah hempuk kepala aq.Nk taw cmne batu tuh,gi tgok cte2 katun tu,yg slalu ade btu besar yg dilepaskn ke bwh gaung gtu.Camtula perasaan aq.Tersenget sket kepala aq kna hempuk tuh.

But I can do nothing.It’s her choice,nak wat cmne lgi.Kalo la dye bace ni maybe dye igt aq marah,but actually I’m not.Frankly.Kita xley nk pkse2 perasaan org kn.If she thinks I’m annoying,nk wat cmne,this is juz my luahn perasaan je.

And me,aq laen.Aq ssh nk btol2 ske someone,but once I like him,it’s really hard to let him go from my mind,from my heart.I never date,but of course I got crush to any guy before.1^st,when I was in drjh 4,5,gtu la.ske gtu2 je pon.Tp mse drjh 6,aq tersuke plk kt klasmet aq sndrik.OMG!gile btol,aq sekelas dgn dye since drjh 1,drjh 6 tetibe leh syok kt dye plk.Tmbhn plk mse tu aq dpt taw something wrong with my 1^st crush tuh,so I use my klasmet ni la utk lpekn dye.huhu..jht kn aq?Tp jht2 aq,jht ag dye.I got crush on him for almost 6years!Aq tggu dye.yes.bodo je ase kn.nk wt cmne,asl nk lupe je,mst dye tetibe muncul.ape nk buat…aq stop pn sbb aq taw somethng gk sal dye.Yela,he can’t be the same as 6 years ago kn.and for that I use HJL to forget him.memula ssh,sbb da sebati ngan aq kn.lme2 nme HJL plk yg sangkut and skrg aq da btol2 xde perasaan ngan mamat 2^nd tuh.Kebetuln je pn mse tu bru knl SS501.Thanks guys,esp to u dear HJL,for coming in the right time for me.I LOVE YOU ALL (^_^)

But to forget HJL,sshnye Allah je taw.ade je muncul dye kt mne2.Aq ni kalo da suke sumone ,xpndg da org laen.kalo pndg pn,aq akn bndgkn dorg n make a conclusion that he is better,the best for me.Aq hnye leh lpe someone to only if there are another better guy for me than the previous one.But the problem now,who can compete my HJL?no one knows…..Allah je taw =)

And YES, I’m crazy about Eli,but I don’t think he can’t ever compete with my HJL.Aq xckp pn HJL perfect,ade certain2 parts bout him dat I don’t like.He is not an angel ok.He juz an alien yg tersesat kt muke bumi ni.

Only if one day(really hope this won’t ever happen! >.<) I leave HJL,it’ll take a long,long time to forget him.Or it might not happen,forgetting him is juz like taking away a precious thing from my life.And Eli,he’ll forever be my Beloved Boyfriend,lol.Number 1.Kalo HJL xde pon the place will remains kosong camtu je.xde pengganti.Boyfren is a boyfren,xkan sme ngan hubby,huhu~

So in the other words,no matter how I’m crazy bout Eli,or another guy,I’ll NEVER can leave,forgetting HJL.He is my life savior,ok?Eli is my 2^nd life savior,I only used him when I got heartbroken or dissappointed/sad /pissed off/angry to HJL.Dorg ttp ade tmpt yg laen2 dlm ati aq ok?

Ok that’s all utk entry ni kot.Kalo spe2 rse menyampah ngan ape yg aq tulis nih,nk muntah,muak,meluat,aq xpedulik pon.Sape suh ko bace.Aq tls sbg luahn perasaan aq je,bkn nk suh org bace.Lbh2 ag kalo ko tu Antis.I HATE ANTIS.bole bla la kalo benci kpop.Ko bkn kpopers,ape ko taw.U’ll never understand perasaan org mcm kami nih.Or ko nk ckp “Aq pn kpopers gk,mnt gk korea,hardcore ag tp xde la poyo mcm ko,perasan je lebih.mcm la HJL tu taw ko syg gile kt dye”

Utk org2 sedemikian,sy nk ckp sket,Laen org Laen citarasa beb .Kalo org laen crush ngan org2 sekeliling,aq tak.Bkn xnak,tp xde yg sesuai.Aq ni cerewet,wpon aq sndri xdela gorgeous.Ko nk ckp aq nk cri mcm muke korea?Only if he got HJL’s face.yg laen blh bla.

#Lagu yg aq psg spnjg tulis lgu nih = SS501 – Let Me Be The One( I keep replay the song till the end).Nk dgr Let’s Break Away,tp mcm agk rnck plk,lol ;P

K,dah,stop.C u in the next entry.For my biras,only if u read this,sis juz nk ckp sis xde niat pon nk mrh korg k?Bkn hak sis pn nk mrh korang.Xkanla sis nk kontrol korang plk kn.Juz live this life as u’re,not bcoz of another person’s wish/arahan.Tu nmenye robot.And I’m SORRY if any of my words hurts u,yr heart,ur feelings,or makes u annoy,pissed off. Sis xde niat cmtu pn.Juz nk wat luahn perasaan je.nk tls smpn dlm lappy,nnt berat,so tls dlm blog je la,hehe…(but really hope dorang  xbace >,<)

~Assalamualaikum~

Akhir kata,^^v Peace No War

*Esk ade kuiz Law,Banking,ko tls bnda ni plak.Bagos SNZ.walhal tls notes lg bgos daa...bnda ni laen kli pn leh tulis =.=’ 2:340 a.m

Ditulis dlm m.words 5March2012,ari ahad,pagi isnin,lol
(mse ni xde line ;P)

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My Status : Unknown (2)

This guy drives me crazy

Aq pn xtaw camne dgn perasaan aq skrg.if u ask me wether I still love him,yes,I still,but,it’s not in the same way as before anymore…..i got hurt so many times yg kekadang aq xleh nk thn.why did I choose him in the 1^st place?kalo aq plh JM ke,Kyu ke,YS ke,or Baby,I don’t  think I will hurt this much.

My 2nd life savior...

I can juz choose Eli over him now,but still,I can’t get rid of him that easy.He is my everything.Aq xtaw camne hidup aq kalo xde dia.Kalo aq sedih,aq akn tgok gmbr2 dia,utk dpt kekuatn(Ok,actually I will watch SS501 vids n pictures,tp aq akn lbh tumpukn pd dia),kalo aq tdo n tetiba terjaga tgh mlm,n aq rase mcm takut,aq akn cpt2 bukak fon,tgok gmbr dia.biasanya mmg dia pn yg aq wat wallies fon aq,tp kalo mse tu bkn dia,aq akn cpt2 bukak galeri,folder KHJ,lps tgok gmbr2 dia bru aq akn rse lega,n xtakut anymore.i can feel that he really lying next to me,comforting me,or at least be a shelter for me.mcm terdengar je dia ckp “don’t worry,I’m here,”with the sweetest consoling smile,that is juz for me….. J n lps tu bru aq dpt tdo…

My beloved life savior,always

So kalo cmni la keadaannya,how can I let him go?it’s too hard.Too easy to say but never did in action……hmm…entahlah,aq pn xtaw ape aq perlu buat skrg.andaikata satu hari nnti aq berjaya lupakan dia,it juz between him and me,I will never stop being a Triple S,still supporting them all,xkira as a group or solo,including him :D

Ya Allah,ape perlu aq buat skrg?????

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